Moment

Sometimes I feel that I don't want to celebrate Raya but everyone makes the effort to enjoy spending time together. Uncles and aunties from Kuala Lumpur and so nearby areas. That is the best Raya spirit. Eid Mubarak everyone! Sorry for the mistakes that I've made. 

Summer.

It's good to be back home. Catching up with family and friends. I will start working on July, but i have this weird feeling, I'm not too hype up to work. Shoo away this negative thoughts please. The most important thing is I want some moolah. Summer has just begun. I hope everything goes well as I planned. Teehee :) Have a great day ahead people. 

Please hate me.

We haven't talked in ages and was that too much to ask, why you couldn't fathom? I've missed you and please stay for awhile. We both getting older. I've been missing you but my existence needs validation. You think I've stopped but I haven't and you're far too wrapped up in yourself to even notice that I'm only getting worse. I just want to know where I stand with you. I want to know how I really feel towards you. I'm sick of being so confused about my feelings. I don't know how I feel about anything anymore. My mind is a mess. I screwed up so many things and I'm awfully sorry.

Spring.

I just want to eat a carton of ice cream and watch Grey's Anatomy.

fly away.

Flying back to college tomorrow morning. Nothing impress me. I'm in a completely wretched mood. Oh, I hate this feeling. I shouldn't act like a doltish. I should act like an egghead.

'L' on the forehead.

To a better place, far beyond. I am not good enough to be a person. It's only my soul and my body! But deep inside, I'm not good for anyone. I can feel that I will be this lonesome for a quite long time. I told mom that I didn't want to get married. She replied who wants to take care of you later. I said I wanna live with you, I wanna stay by your side. If I die before you, mom asked. I didn't respond to her question. She was right and as a mother she always right. I never felt down like this before, there's something bothering me. Something that beyond my control. Allah knows and I really need your guide. Show the sheen to the right path. I am so weak. I need a guide.

Pray.

Ya Allah, give me the strength to endure everything.