fly away.

Flying back to college tomorrow morning. Nothing impress me. I'm in a completely wretched mood. Oh, I hate this feeling. I shouldn't act like a doltish. I should act like an egghead.

'L' on the forehead.

To a better place, far beyond. I am not good enough to be a person. It's only my soul and my body! But deep inside, I'm not good for anyone. I can feel that I will be this lonesome for a quite long time. I told mom that I didn't want to get married. She replied who wants to take care of you later. I said I wanna live with you, I wanna stay by your side. If I die before you, mom asked. I didn't respond to her question. She was right and as a mother she always right. I never felt down like this before, there's something bothering me. Something that beyond my control. Allah knows and I really need your guide. Show the sheen to the right path. I am so weak. I need a guide.

Pray.

Ya Allah, give me the strength to endure everything.

You tell me.

Dear life,

I've been breathing for 23 years. 

Thank you for that.

I've been living without a father for 15 years. 

Thank you for that.

At the age of eight, I lost my hero.

Thank you for that.

I couldn't tell more how i feel.

I need someone.

Someone, that understands me from A-Z.

Sometime, I feel like giving up.

I'm afraid of my future.

I'm afraid of my own shadow.

The truth is, I'm afraid of losing someone that I love.

It would needlessly bring badness into the world.

Dear Dad, I miss you.

Sense.

Every senses remind me of somebody. Somebody that I knew since I met them. The sense of tea, the sense of grass and the sense of cigar. You have your own sense too and so am I.

Feb

Howdy people! Time passes so quickly and we're in February 2012. How is that possible? I'm survived. One month down and more to go, insyaAllah :)