Spring.

I just want to eat a carton of ice cream and watch Grey's Anatomy.

fly away.

Flying back to college tomorrow morning. Nothing impress me. I'm in a completely wretched mood. Oh, I hate this feeling. I shouldn't act like a doltish. I should act like an egghead.

'L' on the forehead.

To a better place, far beyond. I am not good enough to be a person. It's only my soul and my body! But deep inside, I'm not good for anyone. I can feel that I will be this lonesome for a quite long time. I told mom that I didn't want to get married. She replied who wants to take care of you later. I said I wanna live with you, I wanna stay by your side. If I die before you, mom asked. I didn't respond to her question. She was right and as a mother she always right. I never felt down like this before, there's something bothering me. Something that beyond my control. Allah knows and I really need your guide. Show the sheen to the right path. I am so weak. I need a guide.

Pray.

Ya Allah, give me the strength to endure everything.

You tell me.

Dear life,

I've been breathing for 23 years. 

Thank you for that.

I've been living without a father for 15 years. 

Thank you for that.

At the age of eight, I lost my hero.

Thank you for that.

I couldn't tell more how i feel.

I need someone.

Someone, that understands me from A-Z.

Sometime, I feel like giving up.

I'm afraid of my future.

I'm afraid of my own shadow.

The truth is, I'm afraid of losing someone that I love.

It would needlessly bring badness into the world.

Dear Dad, I miss you.

Sense.

Every senses remind me of somebody. Somebody that I knew since I met them. The sense of tea, the sense of grass and the sense of cigar. You have your own sense too and so am I.